If anyone had told me after my first daughter was born that I would leave my kids for days at a time to travel for work, I would have told them they were crazy.
I remember my first day back from maternity leave after my oldest was born. It was the worst day of my life... and I am not exaggerating.
I was hysterical crying the whole way home that day. I was ready to quit my job and be a stay at home mom. I would have walked away, no problem. The attachment I felt for my little girl was inexplicable.
Fast forward to now. My girls are 4 and 2, and I still feel like my attachment to them is inexplicable, yet I do travel.
I survive it, and so do they.
I just got back from Cuba. I was away for 8 days. Eight days! And unlike last year when I traveled for the NBA finals… I couldn’t Skype with them every day or call to say good morning and goodnight. I was only able to speak with them twice the whole time I was gone. I couldn’t even think about their little faces because if I did… I would start to cry.
Leading up to the trip I was second guessing going. I knew it was the opportunity of a lifetime. So important for my career, which I take very seriously. But as a mom, I kept asking myself “is it worth it? Shouldn’t having them be enough to keep me here?”
I don’t know what the right thing to do was. I know there are moms out there who would have never left. And I know there are others who travel more than I do. There are no “perfect” moms. We just do what we do and try our hardest.
I do know something though… the hug I got from my 4-year-old, still in the driveway on Thursday night was the best hug I have ever gotten. She waited up for me until after nine and had the biggest smile on her face. Poor little thing fell asleep about 10 minutes after I walked in the door.
She was exhausted!