I'm a fan of the New York Jets. I was born in 1972. Not only have I gone 40 years without my team appearing in the Super Bowl, but I've had to sit through the likes of Blair Thomas, Rich Kotite and JoJo Townsell.
In other words -- zip it.
4. The Box Dolt: I can't remember the last time I attended a Super Bowl party where someone failed to pass around a sheet of paper with a bunch of boxes, and everyone was guilted into plunking down $5. Then, throughout the game, someone screams out "14!" or "27!" and everyone cheers. To this day, I have no remote idea what this means -- only that it irks the living hell out of me.
5. The Drunk Dolt: Not much really needs to be said -- he drinks 12 beers, eats all the nachos, vomits all the nachos on your shoes while screaming, "Go Astros!" and is sent home early.
Fortunately, this year should be OK. The wife has agreed that we'll stay home, order a pizza and watch Ravens-49ers in the den with our kids.
As long as no one talks, I'm golden.
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