ANDREA BRODY'S HOUSE - What makes me more pathetic?
The fact that I am cooking bacon for a rat or the fact that he is rejecting my offerings?
The vermin expert we contacted suggested that our rat must be a meat lover.
For days, the nocturnal visitor had refused to go near any of the peanut butter-laced traps that had been set. So, I began frying up strips of bacon for "the creature in the wall," as my 8-year-old son has dubbed him.
The problem is, it is no longer the "creature in the wall," confined to creeping us out through a symphony of scratching and rustling noises buried deep and safely inside concrete. Instead, the nocturnal nuisance has left the hidden crevices deep inside our 80-year-old home and set up camp downstairs.
It is now the "creature behind the stereo," "the creature under the piano" and most glaringly, "the creature in the pantry" where our rodent friend has clearly stated he much prefers carbs to protein.
This became evident when my husband called me downstairs yesterday morning to witness Exhibit A -- approximately 30 pretzels underneath the piano bench.
Through a bit of sleuthing, we traced the trail back to our pantry where two unopened bags of pretzels were spilling out their contents. The rat -- or whatever it is, had carried his pretzels about 40 feet into the other room where, from the looks of it, he was having a banquet.
Once again, it had somehow avoided the 37 glue traps and 24 spring traps we had set for him.
The experts were baffled.
Perhaps it was an Alpha rat (a fact that thrilled my son).
Friends who for some unknown reason boasted a knowledge of the behavior of vermin, said it simply couldn't be a rat. They all suggested we have either an opossum or an iguana.
After my own less-than-scientific analysis, I am convinced we we do have a rat and perhaps tonight, in one of the traps, I will at last have my proof.
In the meantime, even more questions come to mind ...
What makes me more pathetic?
The fact that I am collecting rat droppings or the fact that I am Googling them?
As if "creatures inside the house" weren't bad enough, look what's lurking outside Andrea's house: Roosters and chickens and birds -- oh my!
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