MIAMI – When Lainey Tobin was diagnosed with breast cancer, Michael Kieffer was the first person she called.
He rushed to see his 28-year-old fiancee. They hugged. They cried. And went into fighting mode. Minutes later, they were back in their apartment sitting together at the dining table making phone calls. She called her mom in Atlanta.
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When she realized that it would be too difficult for her to speak to her dad without breaking down, Kieffer made that phone call. The cancer wasn't terminal. It was caught at a stage II, and the highest is stage IV.
"He made it clear that he loved me, and that we were partners in this," she said.
Breast cancer tests relationships. Some men cheat on their wives, because they are afraid to be alone. Others walk out on them, because going through treatment is more than they bargained for.
Others may be selfless, but watching your loved one suffer is not easy, so they can't help but become overburdened. In chronic disease cases, the experience can just become unbearable.
In a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology researchers said they "confirmed the negative account of relationship functioning." At patient support groups, the stories of heartbreak are told often.
But that was not Tobin and Kieffer's experience.
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They became friends on Facebook Dec. 5, 2011. They had friends in common and met at a party in January. He later took the time to call her, instead of sending her a quick text message. And when they went out on their first date, he opened doors for her.
"He is old fashioned," she said.
They got to know each other quickly. He went to Gulliver Prep and Florida International University. She went to Mast Academy and the University of Miami. He was a portfolio manager. She was a nurse practitioner. And they were always laughing.
"We were inseparable," she said.
On July 2012, she left her place in Coconut Grove and moved into his apartment in Brickell. And five months later, he took her to Key West. He got in one knee and asked her if she would marry him.
"[I'm] so grateful to have an amazing woman by my side," he said on Facebook a month later.
Their test began April 12, 2013. That was the day she learned of the Multifocal Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, which means there were several cancerous tumors growing in breast tissue.
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Invitations had been sent out for a June 2, 2013 wedding. Postponing it indefinitely was not an option, so they had a smaller May 5th wedding. Green accents were switched to pink. And when the radiant bride was walking toward the chuppah in her hot pink sequin boating shoes, the groom smiled.
"He looked so happy," she said. "I was marrying the man of my dreams."
There were photos with pink boxing gloves, and Mr. and Mrs. Kieffer did their best to stay in the moment, and had their Cinco de Mayo fun.
When the party was over -- unlike other newly wed couples their age -- they had to deal with the risk of not having biological children. Cancer treatments often affect fertility. And they would spend their first year married fighting, so that they could spend their whole lives together.
Two days after the wedding, she had surgery to place a port, a device under the skin of the upper chest that gives nurses better access to the veins. And on the day that she had planned to have a big wedding, she was shaving her head.
She turned 29, while undergoing treatment. There was a celebration on the day she had her 8th and last round of chemo Oct. 11.
"He was there for every chemotherapy -- from beginning to end," she said. "When I couldn't do much, he was doing everything from cooking to laundry. He really took good care of me. I have the best husband in the world."
After radiation therapy to kill cancer cells, she had a bilateral mastectomy Nov. 6. He told her he would love her with or without breast.
"Today: we place our trust in surgeons. Today: we liberate her body from this life threatening disease," he said on Facebook the day her breast were surgically removed. "Today: we worry and pray. Tomorrow: We live!"
On May 15, she had reconstruction surgery in South Miami. They recently celebrated the breast cancer survivor's birthday.She started school again this May. She will be graduating this December as Doctor of Nursing Practice. And Mr. and Mrs. Kieffer plan to be at the graduation ceremony together.
"He thinks I'm beautiful, real or fake with nipples or without," she said. "I'm a happy, healthy wife."
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