Not only is this 300-year-old pirate ghost husband dead, but so is my hope to ever find love.
Earlier this year, Amanda Teague, from Northern Ireland, married a 300-year-old ghost pirate named Jack in a ceremony that guests could only describe as "biz-ARRRe."
Just kidding, we have no idea what guests said at the wedding. But we do know that the 45-year-old Jack Sparrow impersonator (because of course that's what this woman does for a living) is calling it quits after a few months of marriage.
"So I feel it’s time to let everyone know that my marriage is over," Teague said, according to the Irish Mirror. "I will explain all in due course but for now all I want to say is be VERY careful when dabbling in spirituality, it's not something to mess with…"
In case you're wondering how Teague, who is also a mother of five, was able to marry Jack, the 300-year-old ghost pirate, the former couple wed on a boat in the ocean off the Irish coast in international waters.
Oh, and Teague used a medium during the ceremony so she knew Jack would say "I do."