NEW YORK ā He said his actions had been misconstrued, his words misunderstood. He said it was cultural: He hugs, he kisses, he says āCiao, bella.ā He said it was generational: Sometimes he lapses into āhoneyā or āsweetheartā or tells bad jokes.
But of all New York Gov. Andrew Cuomoās responses to investigative findings that he sexually harassed 11 women, one that most disturbed many women ā particularly sexual assault survivors and their advocates ā was his use of a family memberās sexual assault to explain his own behavior with an accuser.
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āWe will not be moved by Governor Cuomoās attempts to use the stories of survivors, including those he harassed, as a shield for his own misconduct and abuse of power all while claiming the harassment was a āmisunderstanding,āā said an open letter to be released Thursday by the National Womenās Law Center and several gender and survivor groups, demanding the Democratic governorās resignation or removal.
Tarana Burke, the survivor and advocate who gave the #MeToo movement its name, wrote in an email to The Associated Press that āabusers, no matter their own personal histories, do not get to center themselves in cases of abuse.ā
āIn these moments, survivorās stories are the ones that should be elevated,ā Burke said. āThere are 11 women, whose stories were corroborated, who experienced harassment at the hands of the governor. His familyās story does not exonerate him, and he does not get to use someone elseās trauma as his own shield.ā
The allegations that investigators said they corroborated ranged from inappropriate comments to forced kisses and groping.
In a taped statement Tuesday, Cuomo denied ever touching anyone inappropriately but apologized to two accusers, including former staffer Charlotte Bennett. He said he asked Bennett about her love life in a misunderstood bid to help her cope with trauma from a past sexual assault. He spoke of a family member, about the same age, who'd been sexually assaulted in high school.
āI thought I could help her work through a difficult time,ā the governor said of Bennett.
Emily Martin, vice president for education and workplace justice at the NWLC, said Cuomo was āsuggesting that he is a hero for survivors of sexual assault, which is an especially disturbing move given all that this report found.ā
āIn some ways it reminds me of the āfather of daughtersā comments that we hear from so many men in power,ā Martin said, āthat we should take them at their word that they care about these issues based on their personal family relationships.ā
Bennett herself called Cuomo's apology āmeaningless.ā
āIf he were sorry, he would step down. Thatās how accountability works,ā she told the AP immediately following the remarks.
Elaborating Wednesday on ABCās āGood Morning America,ā Bennett said: āHe insinuated that survivors of trauma and sexual assault canāt tell the difference between mentorship and leadership and sexual harassment itself, which is not only insulting to me but to every survivor who listened to him yesterday.ā
Marissa Hoechstetter was one of those survivors. She said she was saddened by Cuomoās reference to his relativeās assault ābecause I do not want to diminish those experiences.ā But, added the advocate for reform in New York state, ātwo things can be true. You can have someone in his family who experienced sexual harm, and he could also have caused this harm.ā
āYou feel so gutted when you see peopleās trauma trotted out to try to explain away another personās rightful voice,ā Hoechstetter said.
Deborah Tuerkheimer, a Northwestern University law professor who specializes in sexual misconduct, saw Cuomoās remarks as part of a larger strategy to discredit his accusers and save his political career.
āWe often draw on a set of longstanding misconceptions about abusers as āmonstersā with no redeeming qualities whatsoever," Tuerkheimer said. āWhenever an accused man looks different from this imagined monster, weāre more inclined to doubt the allegations against him. And accused men often strategically tap into this cultural bias by highlighting, as evidence of innocence, their best qualities ā including, perhaps, empathy for victims of sexual assault.ā
For Indira Henard, director of the D.C. Rape Crisis Center, the case against Cuomoās statement was simple: You canāt support survivors in one sentence and discredit them in another.
āIf you stand and believe survivors, then you believe survivors," Henard said. āYou donāt get to take apart their story.ā
Many also questioned the effectiveness of other parts of Cuomoās taped statement, which was accompanied by a slideshow of him hugging and kissing people in benign settings.
āI do kiss people on the forehead,ā he said. āI do kiss people on the cheek. I do kiss people on the hand. I do embrace people. I do on occasion say, āCiao, bella.ā"
Evan Nierman, CEO and president of Red Banyan, a crisis public relations firm based in Florida and Washington, D.C., called it āa bold moveā by Cuomo āto assert that heās some sort of a serial hugger and therefore none of the allegations could be true because he hugs and kisses everybody.ā
āThereās a big difference between appropriate physical contact and types of allegations that were levied against the governor," said Nierman, "and so I donāt think most people are going to conflate the two.ā
Deborah Tannen, a Georgetown University linguistics professor who studies cross-cultural communication, noted Cuomo's reference to his heritage. She acknowledged that Italian Americans tend toward casual touches in conversation, ābut thatās not touching sexual places.ā
āThat is friendly kissing,ā she said. āSo I think that, too, is not really relevant to the most serious allegations.ā
From crisis communication experts to survivors, many agreed that Cuomoās political future seems unsalvageable. For New York and his accusers to move forward, they said, the governor needs to be held accountable.
āSimply put, he needs to resign,ā Henard said, adding that if he doesn't, he should be removed. "Thereās no coming back from this.ā
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